Protips, Volume One

Over the this many [holds up hands, twiddles fingers] years I’ve been alive, I’ve actually learned a thing or two. Please allow me to share with you just a few of my Protips for Existence.

  • PROTIP #1: If you’re ever granted three wishes, your first wish should be “No funny business.” In fact, you might as well end every wish with “And none of that Twilight-Zone-careful-what-you-wish-for nonsense.”
  • PROTIP #2: A surprising majority of the original Twilight Zone series can be summed up with  “Careful what you wish for.”
  • PROTIP #3: If you suspect you are in a Twilight Zone episode, MAKE NO WISHES.
  • PROTIP #4: If anyone ever asks you to guess her age, say your own age. That way, if she gets offended, YOU can get offended.
  • PROTIP #5: Donuts? Don’t mind if I do.

As I continue to learn how to be an adult human being, I will be sure to share more Protips. I promise that fewer of them will be related to the Twilight Zone in the future…

…OR WILL THEY?

Respond to Protips, Volume One

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s